Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
