You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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