I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
