Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
