talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
