Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
