it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
