this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
