; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
