So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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