why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
