I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
