There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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