Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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