i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
