Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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