Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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