I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
