Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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