Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm getting married
To pizza
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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