i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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