Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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