I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
