no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
