I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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