I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize