I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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