Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
