I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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