Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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