Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
