last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
