he thought i was a dude.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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