How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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