I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
