I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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