Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
