Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
