i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
