Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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