plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
