I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
