We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
