we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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