I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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