Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
