Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
