I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
