Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
