at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
