My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
