bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i've created a new STD.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
