Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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