so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
