I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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