I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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