absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
