Dual....:-)
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
