once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
