I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
