did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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