I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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