That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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